Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Holiday Musings


I am someone who really loves to plan ahead.  My Myers-Briggs test results put me at an ESFJ and people with that personality love to work early and party hard.  (or whatever, that's how I interpreted the results ;)

(Don't know your personality type? Go here and check it out --> 16 personalities.  It's free!)

That being said, there always seems to be one or two things that catch me off guard and really bother me.  I know it shouldn't, that the holiday season is about the birth of our Savior and not the "things" of the season, but I really love spreading the joy and love to family and friends.  I love having people over for dinner, mailing out tons and tons of Christmas cards, wrapping presents, and baking cookies.  This year I have had to be incredibly patient with myself, I am working full time and have two babies under 2, and operating on about 2-3 hours of sleep a night.  With that, some things have had to slide.  I haven't baked a single cookie all season, I just ordered my christmas cards yesterday, and my advent devotional has fallen all the way apart.  I'm tired, really, really tired and that is frustrating to me.  I hate that I have to drink coffee just to stay awake throughout the day.  Yes, I realize that coffee could be contributing to the sleeplessness, but I only drink it in the AM and my sleep issues are more staying asleep than getting to sleep.  Plus I'm on some meds that have insomnia as a side effect, which is stupid, buuuuuuut anyway.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas morning with the babies.  I know my older son (almost 2) is going to flip with the whole presents thing.  He already loves being in church and singing songs, he seems to recognize Baby Cheese is kind of a big deal right now, and he is really enjoying the Ann Voskamp Unwrapping the Greatest Gift devotional.  (I'll be blogging about how I adapted that down for my little ones soon)  My younger son (almost 1) has no clue what is happening, but has picked up on the excitement.  He mostly chews on everything, the Baby Cheese, the Christmas cards, any toy or decoration we have set out, but he seems to enjoy being a part of it all.

I have noticed a change in my heart this year, which I'm excited about.  My birthday was yesterday and I got some amazing presents.  One I needed (a new computer), but I was gifted a really, really, really, really nice one.  I'm so excited about it, mostly because my old one was held together with binder clips and prayer.  I can now DO something on the computer and I have so many things I want to get done (one of which is getting back into blogging).  The other gift was a membership to our state's history museum circuit.  I noticed though, that despite these amazing, generous gifts, all I really *wanted* was to spend time with my husband and kids.  It wasn't until they were tucked in bed and hubby was downstairs futzing on his computer that I sat down to really enjoy my presents.  All I wanted throughout the day was to be with them.  That drive ended up being a disaster, as shown my my little guy's total meltdown at dinner, but that was quickly fixed by Daddy and we moved on.  I should have read his cues better, #momfail.  I love this change of heart.  I have been praying for a really long time to have it, to stop dreaming about "if only I had _____, then my life would be easier/better" and instead be content with my *things* and focus on my relationship.  I was pleased to see that for one day, I had that heart change.  I pray that this mindset continues.

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